


Baby, There's Nothing I Wouldn't Do

by homelessharold



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bottom!Harry, Future Fic, Kid Fic, M/M, Play Fighting, Riding, Styloff - Freeform, blowjob, domestic husbands, gemma and niall are only mention really, hazoff - Freeform, i think thats about it, just lots of mocking really, lots of banter, soccer mum styles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-10
Updated: 2014-08-10
Packaged: 2018-02-12 13:39:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2111994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/homelessharold/pseuds/homelessharold
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>"WRITE SOME KIDFICLETS DAMN IT" - lauren (harrygilmore)</p><p>fic title from The Eagles 'Love Will Keep Us Alive' which you should go listen to right now and have a solid cry</p>
    </blockquote>





	Baby, There's Nothing I Wouldn't Do

**Author's Note:**

> "WRITE SOME KIDFICLETS DAMN IT" - lauren (harrygilmore)
> 
> fic title from The Eagles 'Love Will Keep Us Alive' which you should go listen to right now and have a solid cry

"That's incredible, Niall," Harry's speaking into the phone when he hears the front door open and the familiar drop of keys. He counts the three seconds down in his head before Pepper is thumping her way down the hall and smiles to himself. "I'm really happy for you."

"Yeah it's been amazing, bro. I'm really happy," Niall replies.  
  
Harry looks around the room and takes everything into stock. The pictures, the organized clutter, the chip in the wall from when Daniel got too excited on his birthday with a new hockey stick. Yeah, Harry's pretty happy too.  
  
Niall must assume he's started to lose him though, because the next thing Harry's hearing is him clearing his throat and his voice snapping back to normal, out of the wistful tone he'd had when talking about his girlfriend a few seconds ago.  
  
"So, when's the husband home?" he asks, and Harry dimples as said husband walks around the corner and into view, Pepper in his arms.  
  
"Just now, actually," he answers as a soft kiss is pressed to his cheek. He mouths a 'hey' and 'it's Niall', getting a nod in reply. "I better go actually, he doesn't know Dan's out yet," he sighs. "It was really great to talk to you though, Ni. It's been awhile."  
  
"No stress, mate. I'm thinking of coming over pretty soon, actually. Just for a couple of weeks."  
  
"That'd be brilliant, yeah for sure. I'd love to see you! We all would," Harry's grinning into the phone and he's pretty sure Niall could probably tell.  
  
"You too, I miss you guys. I'll have to crash at yours to get the authentic Mumma Harry feeling back into my life."  
  
"Anytime, dickhead. There's a guest room with a dodgy used mattress with your name on it."  
  
"Glad to hear it, Haz. Wouldn't want you to forget about me."  
  
"Never," Harry says sincerely, though he's still talking through a smile. "Text me when you know when you're coming, alright? Or just turn up. Doesn't matter."  
  
Harry makes his way around the corner a few minutes later and sees Jeff leaning against the counter, his back to Harry, Pepper sitting on the bench in front of him. He tip toes his way over until he can hook his chin over Jeff's shoulder and squeezes his hands around his waist.  
  
"Hey, babe," he murmurs, pressing a kiss against Jeff's neck.  
  
Jeff hums and scoops up Pepper before turning around. He leans forward and kisses Harry lightly before moving around him and heading to the play pen.  
  
"How was your day?" He asks, setting Pepper down and walking back towards the kitchen. He's loosened his tie and he looks kinda tired, and Harry's so in love. Jeff opens the fridge door, leaning in grabbing a beer. "Where's Daniel?"  
  
"It was nice. Yoga, sushi," Harry watches as Jeff pops the lid off his beer and leans against the counter. "And Dan has a sleepover. He went home with, um," Harry gestures in a big circle around his head, at a loss for the name.  
  
Jeff stands there, beer in hand, watching him. "Hat? He went home with Hat?"  
  
Harry drops his hands and gives Jeff A Look, to which Jeff only shrugs.  
  
"This," he says, moving his own hand in animated circles above his head as he sit down at one of the kitchen stools. "Is Hat to me. Am I wrong to assume?"  
  
"Why would a child be called _Hat_ , Jeff?"  
  
"Tell me the actual name and we'll decide if Hat's that ridiculous."  
  
Harry bites his lip and cocks his hip a little defensively against the counter, looking down at his nails before mumbling, "Inglet."  
  
"What?" Jeff's still in his seat but he leans forward, cupping a hand around his ear. Harry drops his hands again, slapping his thighs.  
  
"Inglet, the kids name is Inglet."  
  
Jeff stops for a moment before shaking his head in disbelief and sitting back in the stool. "Do we trust the parents of a child with that name?"  
  
Harry shrugs, moving around the counter to sit in the seat next to Jeff. He leans over and takes a swig before passing the bottle back.  
  
"The mum is nice enough. Bakes a lot. Wears a lot of orange," Harry muses. "His dad's pretty hot."  
  
Jeff snorts and elbows his husband. "You're a slut."  
  
Harry grins and elbows him back. "I'm cute."  
  
"You're mine," Jeff growls playfully, leaning over to nip Harry's earlobe quickly.  
  
Harry relishes the swooping feeling in his stomach, loves that he still gets it from the mildest touch even after almost 13 years together. He zones back in as Jeff's muttering "Inglet," under his breath and shaking his head a little.  
  
"There's too many weird kids names in this town," he says. Jeff _mmm_ s his response and takes a sip of his beer. They're silent for a moment before Jeff speaks up,  
  
"Is it too late to rename Pepper before she starts school?"  
  
Harry lasts maybe six seconds before he bursts into laughter. It takes Jeff barely two of watching Harry giggle before he's right there with him.  
  
***  
They hadn't gotten _drunk_ , exactly. Because that would be irresponsible. Sure, Pepper was asleep, and wouldn't wake up until 5am at least, but still. They weren't drunk.  
  
Jeff's elbow rammed into the thick wooden post at the end of the bed and he groaned loudly, clutching it for dear life.  
  
Harry was giggling and trying to shush him as he crawled up Jeff's body, but then his knee knocked Jeff's elbow somehow and Jeff actually _squeaked_ , and Harry lost it, collapsing on Jeff's chest.  
  
"I'm dying," Jeff moaned.  
  
Harry's laughed into his shirt, maybe, possibly, drooling a little before he lifted himself up on his hands, either side of Jeff's shoulders.  
  
"You okay, baby?"  
  
"No," Jeff moaned, still holding his elbow.  
  
"Aw," Harry leaned down and pressed his lips against Jeff's, not waiting before his tongue darted out and ran along the seam of Jeff's closed mouth, nipping gently at his top lip before Jeff finally relented.  
  
He didn't waste time before letting the kiss get dirty; tongues sliding together as his hands fumbled with Jeff's shirt buttons.  
  
He managed to get three undone before it got too hard and he ripped apart the rest.  
  
"Ooh, how 80s porn of you," Jeff spoke against Harry's lips.  
  
Harry pulled back with a frown and rocked his hips down where he was straddled over Jeff's middle, his tented pants hitting Jeff's hip and eliciting a tiny moan. "'m horny," he grumbled, kissing his way wetly along Jeff's jaw.  
  
He bit down on Jeff's earlobe before lathing over it with his tongue and pushing his hips down again. "Want to blow you," he whispered.  
  
"Mmm, please," Jeff got out, tangling a hand in Harry's hair and pulling him back in for a kiss.  
  
He sucked Harry's bottom lip into his mouth and bit down, just enough to get Harry to moan from the tiny tinge of pain, before letting go.  
  
"Suck me, beautiful," he breathed as Harry started kissing and nibbling his way down Jeff's chest. The second the words left Jeff's mouth, Harry paused.  
  
"Did you just quote American Pie?" He asked incredulously.  
  
"Maybe," Jeff replied. His eyes were closed and his hands were under his head, a blissful smile on his face.  
  
"You know how I feel about that movie," Harry answered. He was too...not-drunk, not-sober to actually be offended, so he moved back to Jeff's chest even while entering what would still probably be a debate.  
  
There may have suddenly been more teeth in these kisses.  
  
"It's a good movie," Jeff said, letting out a tiny _ah_ as Harry rolled his tongue around a nipple.  
  
"It's not." He bit down gently, licking over it quickly before moving to the other side.  
  
"It's funny. Funny....characters. Good.....lines," Jeff's answer were becoming punctuated with little breathy groans every time Harry bit down or sucked a bruise into his chest.  
  
"It's disgusting. The main characters are solely focused on sex and pay no respect to the women they plan to get it from," Harry's pulls back, sitting back on Jeff's thighs and blowing his hair out his face.  
  
His hands move to Jeff's belt and he furrows his brow as he struggles to get his hands to cooperate. "And there's very disturbing themes. I'm all for parent-child open sexuality talks, but the father was way too focused on being the friend. If I walked in on Daniel humping-"  
  
"Please don't talk about Daniel right now," Jeff groaned as Harry finally slid his belt out.  
  
"I mean, who even thinks to hump an apple pie?"  
  
"I swear to god, I'm gonna go hump one right now if you don't stop talking."  
  
"And _Michelle_. What was going on there?" He continued as he started sliding Jeff's jeans and boxers down altogether, pulling them off his ankles and letting them fall over the edge of the bed before shuffling back up.  
  
"Harry, please-" Jeff's plea was cut off when Harry's warm hand closed around his cock for the first time, tight and familiar and amazing. " _Harry_ ," he breathed out in relief.  
  
Harry lent down and wet his lips quickly before pressing them softly against the tip of Jeff's cock. Jeff let out a little moan and Harry slid his tongue out, rolling it around and pressing it up along the vein just underneath before closing his mouth over the head.  
  
He ran his tongue along Jeff's slit and hummed as he started to take him further into his mouth, deliberately letting his saliva get everywhere as he pulled back.  
  
One of Jeff's hands had made it's way out from under his head and down to the back of Harry's, resting gently as he licked along the shaft. He came back and pressed more wet kitten kisses and licks all around the head and Jeff's hand tightened a little in his hand before Harry opened his mouth and took half of him down easily.  
  
He was practiced at this; they'd been married for 9 years, together for longer, and it's not like Harry had been an innocent when they'd met.  
  
Regardless, every time Harry blew him, it was better than the last.  
  
Jeff had never known someone with such talent, and surprising enthusiasm for displaying it whenever he could. Harry's mouth was born to have a cock in it, and he definitely tried to make sure it was full whenever he could.  
  
Harry hollowed his cheeks, getting as much in as he could, only pausing briefly when it nudged the back of his throat. He swallowed naturally and let Jeff's cock slide deeper, breathing harshly through his nose as he flicked the tip of his tongue around any way he could.  
  
Jeff's hand tightened in Harry's hand when he started to pull back, worried he was about to lose the wet heat of his husband's mouth that was currently making his head spin. Harry knew his limits though, and he knew he wasn't there yet. He started to hum as he moved his head up and down incrementally on Jeff's cock.  
  
Jeff moaned and snapped his hips up a little the further Harry pulled back, causing his dick to slide back down.  
  
Harry took it, relished it, moaned the tighter the hand in his hair twisted, until he pushed back against it and pulled off, panting as he nibbled lazily at Jeff's inner thigh.  
  
"Want to ride you," he croaked, voice sounding fucked out already.  
  
Jeff squeezed his eyes shut to keep himself from coming right then before nodding. "Yeah, yeah, alright, yeah," he babbled, reaching a hand down to push Harry's hair off his face.  
  
Harry looked up at him, mouth visibly swollen even in the dark, lips wet with saliva and precome from resting against Jeff's cock. His cheeks were pink and Jeff was seriously struggling not to lose it then and there at the sight of him.  
  
Harry shuffled up and leaned over to grab their lube, letting Jeff pull down his boxers as he's stretched over the mattress. Team work. Husbands.  
  
He rolls onto his back once he's got what he needs, nestling his head down onto their pillows and tossing the little tube down to where Jeff's still mostly sprawled.  
  
Harry wraps a hand around his dick and gives it a tight squeeze as he watches Jeff pop the cap and get two fingers ready at once.  
  
He spreads his legs and drops his hand from his cock as Jeff settles in between him, catching Harry's thigh in quick bite before pressing a wet finger against his hole.  
  
Harry bites his lip to stop himself getting too excited too early, eventually having to close his eyes as he feels Jeff start to press his first finger in.  
  
It's so familiar; the way Jeff gently slides his finger in to the first knuckle, pausing only a moment before burying it until his hand is pressed against Harry's ass. It's the way Harry likes it, always has, and it's so comforting and so amazing to be with someone that knows that. Knows everything about Harry's body, intimately, and loves him. It's almost overwhelming, Harry thinks sometimes, to know that the person you're with does every thing they do with the sole intention being your pleasure.  
  
His back arches as Jeff slips in his second finger, twisting his hand around for a few moments before starting to scissor them apart, stretching Harry and making him whine low in his throat.  
  
Harry's definitely not new to this, not new to Jeff's cock, not new the pleasant burn he gets when he's still a little too tight. So Harry knows to sit up when Jeff pulls out both fingers after another minute and his hands disappear altogether, knows to squeeze himself again in an attempt to ward off losing it too early.  
  
Jeff settles back against the headboard, watching Harry as he roughly tugs at his cock, spreading lube liberally, until he's ready for Harry. He shuffles forward when Jeff pats his thighs, crawls on his knees until he's straddling his hips, Jeff's cock standing against his ass. He leans down, presses his lips against Jeff's, slides his tongue out to run along his teeth.  
  
"You ready, baby?" Jeff asks, pulling back and resting his hands against Harry's thighs.  
  
Harry lifts himself up on his knees and shuffles back a tiny bit until the tip of Jeff's dick is pressed against his hole. He holds his hand against the base, steadying himself until he feels the head slide in. He moans a little, still desperate for it at every moment, pulling his hand back as he takes Jeff in.  
  
He drops his head back when he's properly seated and full, throat on display as he moans gutturally at the sensation. Jeff leans forward and sucks a bruise into neck, making sure to squeeze Harry's hips and keep him still.  
  
After a moment Harry's whining and trying to rock his hips, desperate and needy. Jeff leans back and presses his thumbs in against Harry's laurel tattoos.  
  
"Okay, baby," he says quietly, and it's all Harry needs to hear before he's lifting himself off Jeff's cock until only the heads inside him, and slamming himself back down too quickly.  
  
Jeff's fingers are gripping his hips so tightly there's no doubt going to be bruises come morning, but Harry couldn't care less. Loves it, actually.  
  
Harry gets himself into a rhythm, one hand in his hair and one running over his own chest as he lifts himself up and down with ease. Each time he slams back down, he lets out a breathy little moan that's doing Jeff's head in, and when he pinches his own nipple and whines, Jeff knows he's not going to last long. Though neither is Harry, by the sounds.  
  
"You look amazing," Jeff says. "You feel so good, Harry. Always so good."  
  
Harry opens his eyes as he brings himself down, and it's definitely not helping Jeff to ward off coming. Harry's eyes are blown and the blush is all down his chest. He's biting his lip and slowing down with his bounces until he's more or less swiveling his hips in figure eights. He leans forward, pressing his open mouth against Jeff's again, neither quite able to put in the effort to properly kiss.  
  
"Please," Harry moans against him. He's moving up and down a little still, his cock leaking against his stomach, barely getting friction from where it's grazing Jeff's chest.  
  
Jeff brings a hand down between them and squeezes it around Harry's dick gently, thumbing the head to spread his precome down. It's still rough, a slight tug that some probably wouldn't like, but it's _exactly_ what Harry likes, and he's panting into Jeff's neck even as his thighs are probably burning.  
  
"So good, Harry," he repeats, whispering into Harry's ear this time. "Always. Love it when you ride my cock," he squeezes his hand around him again and Harry whines, and Jeff's seriously about three seconds away from blowing his load. "I love you, baby," he says, hand still moving relentlessly against Harry. "I love you so much."  
  
Harry moans and bites down on Jeff's shoulder as he comes over Jeff's fist, hips becoming slightly erratic as he works his way through the high. He brings his lips to press softly against Jeff's ear, a hand finding Jeff's free one and linking their fingers.  
  
"I love you," he breathes, and that's it for Jeff too, that's all Harry needs to say before he's snapping his hips up roughly into Harry's ass and coming with chest-deep groan. "I love you."  
  
***  
"How come I haven't met Inglet before?" Jeff asks, swinging Harry's Range Rover keys in his hand as Harry settles Pepper on his hip.  
  
"He's new," Harry replies, distracted as he does up the buttons on her cardigan with one hand.  
  
"He's new? There's a new kid called Inglet and we immediately shove our kid into his care?"  
  
Harry rolls his eyes and straightens the bow in Pepper's hair. "He's not new to the school, he's new to Daniel's social circle. We didn't shove Daniel into _his_ care, we shoved him into his parents- wait, no. We didn't shove him anywhere. Daniel has a friend with an interesting name, get over it."  
  
"Oh, I'm over it. In fact, I love it. I think it's healthy, even, for Daniel to have a friend with a weird name."  
  
"Can you stop picking on an eight year olds name please, Jeff?"  
  
Harry turns away with a mildly disgusted look at Jeff purses his lips and leans back on his heels. Pepper's watching him over Harry's shoulder, so he pulls a face and she dissolves into giggles, pressing her face into Harry's collarbone, causing Harry to glare back at Jeff.  
  
"Don't use Pepper as a way to weasel your way in. I'm mad at you."  
  
"What? _Use_ Pepper? I made our two year old daughter laugh and now I'm using her? Wait. Why are you _mad_ at me?" Jeff trails after Harry as they make their way down to the field.  
  
"You're rude and disrespectful-"  
  
Jeff groans and lets his head fall back, looking up to the sky. "You're such a _wife_ sometimes."  
  
He looks back forward and is faced with Harry, a look of clear disgust on his face.  
  
"I can't _believe_ you, that's so, so-"  
  
"Sexist. Misogynist. Anti-good. Wife-hating? I've forgotten what I'm meant to say here but I'm sorry," he rattles off quickly. He hadn't meant harm, didn't even realise he'd said it out loud, but now Harry was offended and the damage was done. "I'm sorry," he repeats. "I love you."  
  
"Harry!" A nasally voice comes from behind Jeff and he jumps around, shuffling until he's standing next to Harry and facing the new people.  
  
"You're disgusting," Harry mutters to Jeff before plastering a smile on his face. "Dana, hiiiii!"  
  
"Dad!" Daniel's voice calls out, and he pushes past another group of small kids that have just arrived, barreling his way until he closes the distance and has his arms wrapped around Jeff's neck as Jeff lifts him up in a hug.  
  
"Hey, Danny, how are ya?" He asks with a kiss to his forehead.  
  
Daniel indignantly wipes it off and rubs his hand against Jeff's shoulder before answering. "Good."  
  
He says nothing more, even though Harry and Jeff have been trying to get him to elaborate past 'good' when asked about things for the past few months. Jeff and Daniel stare at each other for a few moments, neither saying anything.  
  
"Okay," Jeff finally says. "Wanna say hi to Dad and Pep?"  
  
Daniel nods and shuffles down, standing politely to the side as Harry talks with a couple Jeff doesn't know. He smiles as he watches his boy. Mini Harry, through and through.  
  
A moment later, Harry wordlessly passes Pepper to Jeff without looking at him and leans down to pick up Daniel.  
  
Jeff watches them, hears Daniel's 'good,', sees Harry's lip quirk as if he's contemplating if he should say something. He smiles conspiratorially at Pepper. "They're pretty cute, hey? We got ourselves a nice team here, girly."  
  
He's yet to meet the magical Inglet when they start to migrate down the field again, Harry and Dan in front while Jeff chatters to Pepper. Harry's always on his case about having intelligent conversation with her, so while it's mostly about the two in front, he drops in some politics. Fiscal policies. The important things for a two year old, you know.  
  
It's not his fault he's talking about Harry, though. Not today (any day). He's wearing tight blue skinny jeans and a tucked in white tshirt, his hair in a little ponytail and aviators perched on his head. Soccer mum - parent - Harry is a site to behold, and Jeff is barely reeling it in.  
  
He watches Harry and Dan continue their chat with the Dana lady, and now a man and child, inside one of the tents set up with water bottles and ice packs.  
  
Jeff waits outside, where they normally sit, and plants himself on the ground, Pepper set up next to him. It's only another few minutes before Daniel's running out and thrusting a dripping water bottle into Jeff's hands as Harry comes up behind him, settling down next to Pepper and lifting her onto his lap.  
  
"Who were you just talking to?" He asks no one in particular.  
  
"Dana and Kyle," Harry responds, rather unhelpfully, just as Daniel says,  
  
"Digo."  
  
Jeff isn't sure who he's more confused by. "Pardon?"  
  
"Digo," Daniel repeats simply, now his turn to be unhelpful.  
  
Jeff turns to Harry to see him watching him with a tiny tiny maybe smile on his lips as he fiddles with Pepper's hair.  
  
"Indigo," he supplies.  
  
Jeff bites his lip and turns back to Daniel.  
  
Indigo. If Harry's smile is anything to go by, he'd screwed up his name the night before. Not that Indigo was _heaps_ better (and wasn't that a girls name?), but. Inglet. What the fuck.  
  
Daniel pushes the bottle into Jeff's hands again, clearly wanting him to take the lid off.  
  
"It's a weird name," he says, almost to himself as he watches Jeff open the bottle.  
  
"Nah," Jeff answers, handing it back with the cap loosely sitting on top. "Not weird. Unique, maybe."  
  
Daniel hums in consideration and takes a sip of water before handing to back to Jeff and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.  
  
"I don't mind," he replies with a shrug. "Anyway, I gotta go, it's my turn now," and disappears without so much as a goodbye.  
  
Jeff screws the lid back on and watches from the corner of his eye as Harry shuffles over and closes the gap between them. He knocks his head against Jeff's shoulder lightly and Jeff looks down to see he's put his glasses on properly.  
  
"Unique," Harry repeats with a smile. "I like that."  
  
Jeff would say he can't believe Harry's whole mood got triggered by thinking someone was making fun of a child, even when Harry's had the wrong information, but that's so Harry that there's no point denying it.  
  
He leans down and pecks his lips quickly, not massive on the whole PDA thing anyway. "I like you."  
  
"You must be Jeff, then," Jeff turns his head away from Harry and looks up....and up into the face of an....okay, a very attractive man. Objectively. He's tall and broad and very muscle-y, which is very not his type. He prefers the lanky pop stars, really.  
  
Jeff takes the outstretched hand in front of him and nods. "Yeah, Jeff Azoff."  
  
"Jeff, this is Kyle, Indigo's father," Harry interjects.  
  
"Oh, right, yeah, nice to meet you," Jeff tacks on.  
  
Kyle only stays for a moment, idle chit chat about his wife and family and boring things that aren't Harry or Daniel or Pepper and therefore not worth Jeff's time, and he's definitely glad when Dana screeches from the tent.  
  
Jeff looks over to Harry, who, even with glasses, is clearly watching Kyle leave.  
  
"You right there, kid?" Jeff asks, nudging his shoulder against Harry's.  
  
Harry's shifts his head and Jeff assumes he's now looking at him. "Yeah, I'm great," he answers slowly, dimpling through a grin.  
  
Jeff laughs and knocks his elbow again. "Slag."  
  
Harry giggles and leans in to kiss Jeff's cheek. "Your ass is nicer," he whispers.  
  
"I'm glad you think so, because you're married to it," Jeff answers with his own peck to Harry's forehead before standing up and brushing off his jeans. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go cheer on our son."  
  
"Hate to see you go," Harry answers, looking up at him as he leans back on his hands. He looks so relaxed, sitting on the grass with his legs stretched in front of him, Pepper on his lap and poking his thighs. He has a wide grin on his face and he's waggling his eyebrows, and he looks blissfully happy. "Love to watch you leave."  
  
***  
  
Harry jumps out of his seat and opens the door to start unbuckling Pepper when he feels Jeff's hand settle at the small of his back. He undoes the last clip and lifts her out of her seat, shifting her on his hip as he leans back and looks at his husband.  
  
"There's paps on the other side, babe. Do you want to stay in the car?" he asks, eyes glancing from Harry to Pepper sitting peacefully in his arms.  
  
Harry frowns as he glances down at his baby and then over to Daniel, who's still in his seat waiting to be helped out. If it was just Harry, or even Harry and Jeff, he wouldn't care. But it's not, and he doesn't want his kids exposed to that when he can avoid it.  
  
He sighs and nods, passing Pepper over to Jeff and leaning down to kiss her forehead.  
  
"FaceTime me, though. You always get the wrong things."  
  
Jeff nods exasperatedly, rolling his eyes and shifting Pepper to the other hip. "I think I know what to get by now, sweetheart."  
  
"Please," Harry answers sarcastically as he opens his door again. "You bought banana flavored soap a week ago."  
  
"You like bananas," Jeff argued with a frown.  
  
"I like to  _eat_ bananas, Jeff. I don't eat soap."  
  
Daniel giggled from the backseat. "Why would you want to smell like bananas, Dad?"  
  
Jeff huffed. "Now the child's questioning me."  
  
Harry lifted his head and turned around so he could look at Jeff between the seats. "The child has a point."  
  
"The child is a child, what does he know about the benefits of scented soap," Jeff retorted.  
  
"The child-"  
  
"Daniel," Daniel interrupted.  
  
Harry and Jeff stopped and looked over at their son. They both started laughing and Harry kissed his hand and lent over his seat until he could press it against Daniel's forehead.  
  
" _Daniel_ can pick the soap," he said with a smile.  
  
Daniel grinned triumphantly and Jeff rolled his eyes again. He came to Harry's door and stuck his nose through the window and pressed a kiss to Harry's smooth cheek.  
  
"Do you still want me to call you from the store, or do you trust me more now that I don't have soap responsibilities?"  
  
"Definitely trust you more now," Harry dimpled as reached his hand out to tuck Jeff's hair behind his ear. It was probably time for a trim. "But no, don't worry about the call."  
  
Jeff nodded and made his way to the other side of the car, finally helping Daniel out one handed.  
  
"Hey!" Harry called out just before he closed the door. Jeff popped his head back around and raised his eyebrows. "I don't think I wrote it down but can you get some-"  
  
"Condensed milk?" Jeff asked.  
  
"Yeah, I'm meant to be making that-"  
  
"Caramel slice-"  
  
"For-"  
  
"Allison's party-"  
  
"Next week-"  
  
"All good. Do you need more-"  
  
"Three blocks please, I think they got raided when-"  
  
"Inglet came over, I know."  
  
Harry giggled at the way Jeff said 'Inglet' and laid his head back as he nodded softly. "Yeah. Thanks, babe."  
  
"I am mildly capable, you know," Jeff said with a grin.  
  
"Mmmm, emphasis on the mildly."  
  
"Watch it, Kid," Jeff replied, voice low and warm and instantly throwing Harry back to the early days of their relationship, when it wasn't even really a relationship, and now Harry suddenly wanted to wrap himself up in his husband and not move for the rest of the day.  
  
With a smile, he watched Jeff close the door and take Daniel's hand as they walked into the store.  
  
It was really easy to forget how far they'd come. It was _really_ easy to forget how it felt starting this all.  
  
Harry had been nineteen when he met Jeff. Twenty when they finally acted on whatever the hell they'd been feeling and let themselves relish in it instead of hide. Twenty-one when they decided whatever they had was worth it and took the leap of exclusivity and a formal long-distance relationship. At twenty-two, One Direction had decided to take indefinite hiatus, and Harry had made the permanent move to LA less than a month later.  
  
There were so many ages with so many milestones that constantly swirled in Harry's head starting from age sixteen and auditioning for The X Factor that brought him right up to today, and he knew he'd never forget any of them.  
  
Never forget being twenty-three and releasing his first solo album. Never forget being twenty-four and marrying the man of his dreams, simultaneously coming out. Never forget being twenty-five and having his first son.  
  
Twenty-six was new parenthood and mistakes and giggles and adjustment and _exhaustion_. Twenty-seven was Jeff's promotion to senior agent and a new house. Twenty-eight was Liam's wedding and Zayn and Perrie's first child. Twenty-nine was a second album and a 6 month leave of absence for Jeff to join him on tour with their son.  
  
Thirty was Gemma's third child and Daniel's first broken bone and Jeff and Harry's  midnight whispered _I think I want another baby_. Thirty-one was Pepper. Thirty-two was album number three, a staggered 4 month sold out US tour that almost broke Harry, and the underlying decision in his own personal -though not indefinite- music hiatus.  
  
And now thirty-three. Thirty-three was an eight year old son and a two year old daughter and love every day of Harry's life. It was Niall settling down and Louis' football team making the premiership. It was new but it was stable and Harry thanked whoever had helped him get to this point every moment he was awake.  
  
He'd obviously been reminiscing awhile, because next thing he knew there was familiar high pitched laughter and he looked up to see his little family making their way to the car.  
  
"Hiiiii," he sang when Jeff opened Daniel's door, Daniel climbing up into his seat and waiting patiently while Jeff walked around to set Pepper up. "How'd you go?"  
  
"Good!" Daniel called just as Jeff came back to fix him up.  
  
"Do you want to give him it?" Jeff asked Daniel quietly. Daniel paused for a moment before shaking his head and pressing the bag in his hands into Jeff's arms.  
  
Harry turned to Jeff when he got into the drivers seat, eyebrow quirked in question. Daniel was already preoccupied with some game he had in the back of the car so he was free to nudge Jeff until he gave him the bag.  
  
Looking back and making sure Daniel was still busy (he was), Harry pulled the soap out of the bag.  
  
Lime. It was lime soap.  
  
Harry dropped his hands. How was lime any better than banana? "What is it with this family and their aversion to normal soap?" He whispered to Jeff.  
  
Jeff chuckled lightly before checking the rear view mirror and tossing a smaller bag over to Harry. "I got some normal when he wasn't looking, it's alright."  
  
Harry opened up the little paper bag to see a bright purple familiar shaped tube. He groaned and scrunched it back up. "You bought grape lube? You'll use all these products but god forbid I try and get you to eat actual fruit." He tossed the little bag down by his feet and slunk down a bit in his seat. "I'm gonna be a damn artificial fruit salad by the time you're all done tormenting me."  
  
Jeff smirked as he pulled the car out onto the road. "Yummy, yummy," he replied in a quiet, dramatically low voice.  
  
Harry groaned again and bumped his head against the glass of his window, turning away from Jeff.  
  
He was married to an idiot. His son thought he was hilarious. His daughter was loud.  
  
Harry grinned against the window. He loved his life.  
  
***  
  
Sunday morning, after Daniel had eaten his breakfast and was off playing in the lounge room and Pepper was in her Harry-approved play pen, Harry informs Jeff that he's going over to Cam and Lizzie's that afternoon.  
  
"We're having a pregnant day. I'm further along than she is."  
  
Jeff started to speak before stopping. Twice. He finally put his spoon down and looked at Harry. "Babe. You're aware you're not actually pregnant?"  
  
Harry's hand paused in the air, curled around a banana chunk. "Sympathy pregnant. I still feel...things."  
  
"Like?"  
  
"My nipples are sore."  
  
"That probably has more to do with the nipple clamps we used last night as opposed to, you know, milk coming in."  
  
Harry's hand dropped to the counter, dropping the banana along with it.  
  
"Why are you attacking me, Jeff?"  
  
"I'm not attack-" Jeff started defensively, before realizing there was no point. He raised his hands in defeat. "I didn't know this was a touchy subject. Sorry."  
  
Harry huffed and went back to adding his various fruits to the blender. "It's not touchy. _I'm_ not touchy."  
  
"'course not."  
  
"It's hormones."  
  
"Hormones," Jeff repeated seriously with a nod, spooning his cereal into his mouth.  
  
"Pregnant."  
  
"Pregnant," he repeated again, still nodding.  
  
"I hate you."  
  
Jeff smiled as he looked up. Harry was standing with his hair in a tiny ponytail in one Jeff's big tshirts and his own boxers. He had a little pout on his face and a slightly offended glint in his eye as he watched Jeff.  
  
"You are the love of my life," Jeff responded seriously.  
  
It took a moment, but the pout faded to a coy little smile as Harry threw a piece of chopped up mango at him. "I know."  
  
***  
  
Monday morning, Harry stands with two travelers mugs in his hands, one full of nasty coffee that Jeff insists he needs and one with the nice, healthy smoothie Harry _knows_ he needs. Jeff presses a final kiss to Pepper's forehead and stands up in front of Harry, sighing as he takes both drinks.  
  
"I'm gonna be peeing all morning," he grumbles as Harry leans forward and presses a light kiss to Jeff's cheek, leaning back and straightening his tie before flattening his hands on Jeff's chest.  
  
"Pee as much as you need to, babe, but if you're late, I'll chop it off."  
  
Jeff glares at him as he deliberately raises the coffee filled mug and takes a loud sip. Harry raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms. He's about to say something when Daniel pops up next to them.  
  
"Is it today?" he asks, green eyes wide and cheeks pink. Jeff feels like he's looking at real life baby pictures of Harry every day of his life.  
  
"Yeah, baby, it's today. You excited?" Harry asks, stepping back and putting Daniel's lunch into his bag.  
  
"I'm excited if I win," Daniel answers with a shrug. Jeff catches Harry's frown and he lifts his leg up to kick Daniel super lightly on the back of his calf.  
  
"What was that for?" he asks with a pout just as Harry turns the frown on Jeff.  
  
"Don't kick our son, please, Jeffrey."  
  
Jeff raises his eyebrows and makes his mouth an 'o' shape before looking down at his boy. "Jeffrey," he repeats, making Daniel giggle.  
  
"What about if you're wrong?" Harry asks Daniel, ignoring Jeff as he continues packing up the school bag in front of him.  
  
Crinkling his nose a little, Daniel steps around Jeff and looks at Pepper. "I guess......it wouldn't be _too_ bad. I mean, if it'll keep _her_ away from me," he reasoned, completely missing Jeff sucking his top lip between his teeth to save from bursting out laughing at Harry's mildly offended expression.  
  
Not picking up on his parents exchange, Daniel left the room without another word and Jeff stepped around the counter until he was standing in front of Harry.  
  
"I loved having a sister," Harry mumbled sadly as he did up the last zip.  
  
"Pepper's loud," Jeff offered, taking a sip of his coffee.  
  
Harry frowned at his mug of choice before snorting at his words. "You think Gemma was a peach?"  
  
Jeff thought for a moment, eyes on the counter, before shaking his head no slowly. "Gemma's 38 and she's still not a peach."  
  
"Mmm," Harry hummed in reply, wiping down the counter with a little frown still on his face. "Now, the appointment is 11. I want to get there a little early. You're sure you'll leave on time, right? You won't be late?"  
  
Jeff rolled his eyes. "Of course I won't be late."  
  
"You say that like you've never almost missed one of these before."  
  
"Almost missed? When have I ever?"  
  
"Oh, so now you don't even remember."  
  
"You're not talking about Pepper."  
  
"I'm talking about Pepper."  
  
"Harry, I was there right on time. just because you were an hour early doesn't...nullify my efforts."  
  
"Just because I'm the more loving parent," Harry murmured quietly under his breath, sneaking a glance at Jeff with a cheeky grin sliding across his face.  
  
"Just because you're the more _unemployed_ parent, I think you mean," Jeff responded with a laugh.  
  
"Unemployed and I've still made millions more than you," Harry smiled wide as he lent on his elbows on the other side of the counter.  
  
Jeff locked eyes with Harry and slowly released his grip around the smoothie travel mug, letting it fall onto the bench. It tipped over, a tiny bit of green sludge oozing out the top. Harry gasped dramatically as Jeff backed away from the counter.  
  
"Go to work already, you employed ass," Harry called as he moved to grab the sponge again. "And don't be late for the appointment!"  
  
"I won't be, babe. Should I just head over now? I feel like 3 hours early gives me enough time to really get a _feel_ for the place, ya know?" Jeff answered from the foyer. He was mocking Harry almost word for word and they both knew it.  
  
"I'm filing for divorce."  
  
"Alright, just lemme know when the meeting with the lawyers are. I'd like to get there the night before and soak up the energy," Jeff responded as he came back into the room and picked up his keys.  
  
Harry lent back against the counter and grinned as he watched Jeff check his watch. "Drive safe."  
  
Jeff nodded and stepped over, pressing a kiss to Harry's cheek. "See you at 12 sharp. You made reservations for tonight?"  
  
Harry narrowed his eyes as he watched Jeff move back. "Yes. And it's 11. So help me god, Jeff-"  
  
"Love you," Jeff interrupted him, pressing another kiss to Harry's mouth this time. "I love you."  
  
Harry hummed his response against Jeff's lips until he moved back. "Love you too. See you in a bit."  
  
"Bye, Dan!" Jeff yelled out, waiting until he heard Daniel's quiet thudding coming around the corner.  
  
Dimples in his cheeks and unusually pale skin, the only thing he was missing was the curly mop his Dad had become famous for. Though Jeff had been told that didn't come in until the early teens, so he wasn't that worried.  
  
Daniel wrapped his arms around Jeff's waist as Jeff bent to kiss his head. "See you at dinner, alright? Have a good day. And get excited." He finished with a light squeeze to his shoulders.  
  
Daniel frowned again as he looked at Pepper. "If I'm wrong, I should get to pick where we have dinner."  
  
"The deal was you get to pick dinner if you're right, though," Harry answered.  
  
Daniel nodded seriously. "Yeah. But also if I'm wrong. Because otherwise Dad wins three times."  
  
His math was off, but Jeff didn't have time to argue. Especially since the point was moot. Regardless of who was right, Harry had already made reservations at Daniel's choice. Daniel just didn't need to know that yet.  
  
"Life's hard, baby," Jeff laughed. "Alright, let's have a good day, Azoffs!"  
  
Harry rolled his eyes as Jeff backed out of the kitchen. "He's lame," he said to Daniel, though it was loud enough Jeff probably still heard it.  
  
"Very," Daniel answered with a nod.  
  
"You love me!" Jeff yelled just before the front door shut.  
  
Harry held his hand down for a low-five and Daniel patted it gently.  
  
***  
  
It was  10:50am and Jeff was not here.  
  
It was also very hot and Harry had, for some reason, felt like tight jeans and a long sleeved button down was the right thing to wear.  
  
He was now sitting in his car with the aircon going and counting down the minutes until his useless husband-  
  
His thought process was interrupted by a knuckle rapping on his window,  and he turned his head to see Jeff grinning tightly at him. Without moving his body from its slumped position in the drivers seat, he held his finger against the button until Jeff could poke his head through the window.  
  
"Hi! Hi, sorry I'm late, hi," he rattled off before pausing. "There's still ten minutes to go and it's a thousand degrees, why am I apologizing?"  
  
Harry still hadn't said anything; just watched as Jeff flustered himself into a time management soliloquy. Eventually he stopped ranting and looked at Harry properly.  
  
He pushed his head further through the window and touched his lips to Harry's before leaning up and knocking their heads gently together.  
  
"You ready?" Jeff whispered, forehead pressed against Harry's tightly.  
  
"I'm ready," Harry answered, licking his lips a little.  
  
"You excited?"  
  
"I'm excited," he answered again.  
  
"You nervous?"  
  
"No, I'm. Not nervous. This is good. I'm just ready," he answered solidly with a nod to himself. "Are you? Nervous?"  
  
Jeff grinned, eyes crinkling and cheeks almost splitting. "Never with this. Never with you. I love you," his voice was somehow richer whenever he spoke through a smile and Harry's stomach swooped.  
  
"I love _you_ ," he responded quietly.  
  
"Let's do this, then, kid," Jeff pushed his head forward slightly until his lips brushed against Harry's for a second again before he pulled back and opened his door.  
  
They had to wait a few minutes so the doctor could set everything up, but thankfully the waiting room was empty and no magazines had Harry's face plastered over them. Two blessings.  
  
At 11:05, they stepped into the first room on the right with their hands still linked and met each face in there with a smile.  
  
"This is it, then," the doctor said with a glance over her shoulder at Jeff and Harry. Harry squeezed Jeff's hand without thinking as his heart sped up. Jeff squeezed back immediately just as hard, if not a tiny bit harder, a reassuring weight Harry was thankful for in his life every single day.  
  
The doctor fiddled for another second before pointing at the screen all their eyes were trained on. "See that there?" she asked to no one in particular. Harry nodded anyway. She smiled and tapped the screen again. "It's a boy."  
  
It felt like Harry's veins were about to explode through his body. An immediate, overwhelming buzz kicked off from his heart the second the words had left the doctors mouth and flooded his whole being. Tears were in his eyes before he felt like he could even process what had happened and tight arms were being wrapped around him before the tears could go anywhere.  
  
Jeff pressed a wet kiss to his cheek and whispered softly in his ear, "it's a boy, baby. We're having a boy."  
  
***  
  
"So. Names." Harry's leaning against the door way to their ensuite rubbing moisturizer into his hands while Jeff flosses his teeth in the mirror.  
  
They'd been home for about an hour before they'd been able to calm Daniel down. He'd won the bet he'd made with Jeff a few weeks ago - whether Baby Number 3 was going to be a girl or a boy - and consequently gotten to choose the restaurant they ate at that night.  
  
Alas, in Daniel's brain, dinner was only the _start_ of the party, and coming home just meant he could start mapping out just exactly what he and his brother were going to get up to when he was born.  
  
It's now creeping up on  11pm and Harry's knackered. But this is something he's wanted to talk about for a while, he just hadn't let himself hope for either a boy or girl, and had ignored names in general lest he subconsciously pick a sex he'd prefer. (His logic.)  
  
(Jeff had actually gotten out of him that he wanted a boy about a month ago, when Shelli had taken Daniel and Pepper for the weekend, and Harry and Jeff had celebrated with tequila. Harry was way too drunk though, and he still has no recollection of the night at all, let alone what he said to Jeff.)  
  
Jeff looks up into the mirror until his eyes catch Harry and he pulls the floss from his teeth for a second, "you say that like you don't already have one picked out."  
  
Harry shrugged a little with a small smile. "I was thinking...Irving."  
  
Jeff spluttered around the floss helplessly for a minute. "What, our 60 year old baby?"  
  
"He's your dad, Jeff. I think it'd be a nice gesture."  
  
"He's not dead yet, Harry."  
  
"He will be one day. What if we're done with kids by then?"  
  
"Mmm, 'Hey dad, here's my new son. He's preemptively named after your death,'" Jeff replied sarcastically. Harry gave him a miffed looked in the mirror but he wasn't changing his tune. "Sorry babe, but if we're done by the time he's gone, we dodged a bullet. Then it's Cam's responsibility."  
  
"'Dodged a bullet,'" Harry scoffed. "How can you be so callous?"  
  
"How about Des?" Jeff asked instead. Harry, of course, went silent. "Desmond?" he repeated in a dramatically lowered voice. It took a second, but Harry's deliberate frown faded into a tiny quirk before he kicked his leg out at Jeff.  
  
"No Desmond's," he answered.  
  
"How can you be so callous?" Jeff repeated into the mirror before spitting out the excess saliva and washing his hands.  
  
"What about Hunter?" Harry asked.  
  
"Mmm, I don't know," Jeff answered, drying his hands before he turned to Harry. "I really like Inglet. We should have Inglet Jr. Inglet the Second."  
  
Harry held his hands out in front of him, palm up, and looked up at the ceiling. "You can't name a baby after somebody else's child when they're only eight. And friends with our son. Also, it wouldn't be Junior _or_ the Second. There is no Inglet."  
  
"But Inglet, Harry," Jeff replied, stepping over until he was in front of his husband. "It's one letter off singlet. I like that. That's a nice aesthetic."  
  
Harry giggled as he wiped the last of the moisturizer up his forearms, Jeff moving around him and back into their bedroom.  
  
"More people should name their children after clothing. Pant. Except Ant. I like Ant. What about Trouser? Rouser, yeah. That's a badass name."  
  
Jeff was still running through various clothing items off by one letter when Harry stepped up to where he was sitting on the end of the bed, sliding himself between Jeff's knees and settling his hands on his shoulders.  
  
"You're an idiot," he murmured, leaning down and pressing his lips against Jeff's.  
  
Jeff's hands came up to rest on Harry's waist, his thumbs slipping under the hem of his tank and grazing the warm skin of Harry's belly. He opened his mouth against Harry's, sliding his warm tongue along the roof of Harry's mouth. Harry moaned a little and pushed some of his weight onto Jeff as he ran his own tongue along Jeff's bottom lip. He pulled back after a moment, pressing soft, wet kisses on the corner of Jeff's mouth and moving his hands along his shoulders until they rested on either side of his neck.  
  
"What about Bert?" Jeff breathed quietly out of nowhere with his eyes still closed.  
  
Harry let out a loud cackle before he could stop it and Jeff grinned as he opened his eyes.  
  
Harry was still laughing, though more controlled, when Jeff lifted himself a bit before throwing them back on the mattress together. He turned at the last second so they landed side by side and Harry let out a gentle ' _oof_ ' as his shoulder dipped into the mattress.  
  
"No to Bert?" Jeff finally asked.  
  
Harry dimpled and shook his head. "No to Bert."  
  
"What about Gunther? Frank? I feel like Otis is underrated."  
  
Harry kept giggling the longer Jeff rattled off ridiculous names that they'd _never_ be naming their son until Harry yawned, big and loud and absolutely exhausted. He opened his eyes to Jeff watching him and smiled softly.  
  
Jeff moved his head forward until he could bump his nose against Harry's gently. "What about Zach?" he asked quietly.  
  
Harry paused for a moment, thinking of any problems with the name. "Zachariah? Zach for short?" he asked.  
  
Jeff nodded, forehead bumping against Harry's. "If you want."  
  
"I...I really like it, actually. Old Testament. I think it fits in nicely with Dan's," he answered. Jeff was still quiet, obviously waiting for Harry to make his final call. "Yeah," Harry eventually breathed. "Yeah, let's do it."  
  
Jeff smiled, pushing forward again until his lips met Harry's.  
  
He sighed dramatically as he leaned back a moment later, hand still resting on the curve of Harry's hip. "God knows what happened with Pepper. Where is Ruth? Esther?"  
  
"Probably a good thing we skipped Ruth, considering," Harry laughed.  
  
Jeff sighed again. "I feel like we're really missing out with the clothing though. Will we ever feel complete without Oxer in our lives?"  
  
Harry kicked his foot out so it hit Jeff's shin before trailing his toes up to his knee. "Next one, then," he said quietly.  
  
It was dark in the room, only Harry's lamp on the dimmest setting behind him and further up, but he could still see Jeff's eyes as he processed Harry's words. He nodded slowly, never taking his eyes off Harry's.  
  
"Next one."  
  
***

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in like 8 hours because lauren was desperate for kidfic that's literally it that's how this whole thing came about 
> 
> we're both on tumblr at | harrythehobo | and | harrygilmore |
> 
> come say hi if you like :)


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